Stick it.

The room was warm, but that wasn't why I had to wipe my forehead with my arm to keep the sweat from dripping on my patient's left arm where I was about to put a needle into her vein. In a moment like this you have to be confident, hide the fact they are the first non-medical student that you will be drawing blood from, and not doubt for a second that you will succeed... even though you can't see her vein... That's when the confidence kicks in. Relying on tactile senses, I felt for the vein, stuck the needle in, saw the flash of blood in the first chamber, and with a little bit more maneuvering (mostly putting the needle in a little deeper), we filled the test tube with dark red, minimally oxygenated, venous blood. After that, I became the first 1st-year to be certified to draw blood at the free clinic that Tufts students run. I stuck it.

You wouldn't think it, but the first couple times you put a needle into someone else is actually quite stressful. A few weeks ago, the first student to practice on me, one of my friends, was shaking so much that she had to pause and collect herself. We then talked through and reviewed the steps she would take, and after settling herself, she got back to drawing my blood. Now that I've drawn blood a handful of times, I can't stop touching my veins, or noticing when one of my friends has superficial veins. It's strange.

I wonder, what will it be like the first time I assist in a surgery, or even just place a chest tube, or drain fluid from someone... will I be feeling the same way I felt when I first drew blood? Does it get easier? Does it get more or less exciting?

As you can see, the clinic experiences are the ones that carry the most weight for most medical students. In class, we get wrapped up in details and stress about the next exam which happens to be a week from now. We will be assessed on our knowledge of a combination of the courses we are currently taking, biochem, genetics, cell bio... They'll give us 3.5 hours, and after that we'll be that much closer to four years from now when we become what the outside world considers "competent..." This material is simply not my thing, which makes it that much more frustrating that I've spent roughly 20 hours since friday studying this stuff (its monday right now). I'm looking forward to neuro and anatomy, which both come later in the year. Until then, I shall keep on studying (this was my study break).