The Sharewood Project

Here is a link for a segment that nbc news aired on the Sharewood Project - a free clinic run by tufts med students that I've been volunteering at since I arrived this summer. Yep, a lot of people in the video are people I know pretty well. How neat is that!?!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/vp/40182965#40182965

I'm no expert, and I don't get pregnant! - Medical Student Panel

Today was my first experience on a "medical student panel" for a conference that was being held at Tufts. I can remember being on the other side as an undergrad and wondering how the med students were so relaxed, settled with their life - I assumed that they must be so hard working, accomplished and at the top of their class. Now I'm on the other side of the panel, telling a group of undergrads about what I did to get to medical school, why I made the decision to take a year off of school after graduating, why I decided to take this route, how I'm adapting to life in Boston, and why I chose Tufts. I was not the top of my class, I wasn't some crazy smart kid who set the curve in my science courses, and I didn't know that I wanted to go into medicine until after entering college (I wasn't absolutely sure until my third year in school).

I have to admit, it felt pretty good to be viewed as an "expert" in the medical school application process, and it felt great to look back and realize that I've actually accomplished some pretty neat things. This is easily forgotten, with major exams every 2-3 weeks, and feeling like I'm just plugging away, constantly studying, with my head down, pushing through the hard science courses.

One of the undergrads, asked a question about family planning. She originally focussed the question on the women, but I felt that it also pertains to men, including myself (No, men don't get pregnant - I should know, I'm a medical student!). As med students, we all plan. It's no mystery to us that some specialties make it more difficult to be an active parent (surgery), and for that reason I have a couple friends who know when they want to get married, pregnant and how they will handle family life with residency. It's nuts - in the last 3 months I've had more conversations about family planning than I have in the last 3 years (I actually don't know if thats true, but it feels that way!). Whenever this question comes up I usually see myself in a specialty that allows me to be involved with my future family (whoever they end up being). That is one of the benefits to Emergency Medicine, you can work part time, set your hours, and when you leave the hospital you are not on call. That freedom, I feel, would decrease stress and allow my life to be more flexible... so we'll see if this is what I actually end up doing.

Time to put my head back down and hit the books!

(Photo is from my halloween weekend in SF - view from my friend's apartment that he recently moved out of)

Beginning to Learn from Patients

For the past couple months, I've spent thursday afternoons with 3 of my classmates to practice our interviewing skills in elderly homes and hospitals. It strikes me as absolutely amazing that we are allowed to walk into a room and ask a 66 year old woman, who is suffering from her third bout of cancer - who hasn't talked to her family about it and is awaiting a procedure - anything we want. Including why she hasn't told her family, if she is sexually active, the history of the diagnosis, is she worried or afraid?... Why are we granted that?
We are part of the club, we wear our white coat, and in a few years we will have patients of our own who rely on us... As strangers we hear a patient's deepest fears, hopes, desires, worries, we hear things that they keep from most of the world. Then, after walking into that room and sitting down to talk to the patient, we walk out, thank them for their time, and never talk to or see them again. We don't know what will happen to them, and we don't think much about it after leaving the hospital and riding the T back to wherever we are going. Sometimes it feels like we are more concerned with our "patient presentation" that we deliver to the group and resident supervising us. We stress out about our performance, making sure we include all the necessary details - the reason why they are in the hospital, their medical, surgical, familial, and social history. It's truly selfish, that the time we spend with the patient is so very much unbalanced, serving our education, while we have so little to offer. We are granted a luxury unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life.

However, through these experiences we have an amazing learning opportunity: To hear a patient's story. We may never see them again, but we will remember how they felt being on dialysis three times a week, and appreciation of a family member sitting through each 4 hour session they spent plugged into a machine to filter their blood the way their kidneys no longer can. We hear about their life, what matters to them outside the white walls of the hospital, and in these stories sometimes we get a glimpse of some of the issues we are all afraid to bring up... will they ever live a normal life again? Will they live to see this next new year? How are they coping?

I write this sitting on a plane headed to SF for the weekend, to see a few of my closest friends, to get away from the same med school crowd and to change up the pace. The constant studying, lecture, library, apartment, occasionally clinic or hospital, exercise/soccer when I have time, rarely cooking for myself... it's healthy to break that routine. On top of that, YOLO - you only live once. If it matters to you, find a way to make it happen.

What would have become of me in The City

Sitting in grand central I'm waiting to meet up with my friends for the drive back to boston. The second I get off the train I feel the pulse of the city, the way that if you pause you notice the world rushing by you, it's like being a rock in the rapids, it's calming and exciting at the same time. I wonder what life would be like had I chosen to go to nyu. Would I become a different physician, find different hobbies, make as many new friends as I have in boston, would school be more difficult or easier? What would it be like, and what would I be like. I chose tufts for the community, support, faculty and adminstration. I'm happy with my decision, but I will always wonder what would have become of me in the city.
Standing in the middle of the concourse, i hear 3 different languages at the same time. I love it.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3

What I see is normal to me...

On the train headed back into the city from a weekend in poughkeepsie to visit my god parents. Along the hudson, the trees are a mix of orange, yellow, red and brown...i understand that this is why so many people love fall and the change of seasons, however I can't appreciate it. I have an x chromosome that limits the wavelengths my cones can pick up on... put another way, matching ties to shirts is a struggle for me, which is why I insist on shopping with women, who have 2 x chromosomes, and rarely are color blind for that reason. After just a few months in med school I have a stronger understanding of our genome, how and why many birth defects occur, and I've effectively become paranoid about my future children being negatively affected by the dna I may or may not know I'm carrying... Thanks genetics!
On my last exam, one of the courses I was tested on was molecular biology. On one of the questions, I was given the description of a virus im not familiar with (but I understand how the general class of virus it belongs to functions), applied concepts i learned, and essentially described how a virus can cause cancer. Yes, thats right, we learned how certain viruses can cause cancer. I imagine 10 years ago med students did not learn this... Meaning that 10 years from now students will be learning things well above what I know now. They say that the majority of the science that you learn in medical school is discovered to be no longer valid, or just completely incorrect 10 years after you graduate. Crazy to think that but also amazing that our collective medical knowledge is developing so quickly.




The girl sitting next to me is on the phone and having a personal conversation, making it tough to focus on what I'm texting, yeah I'm on my cell phone right now, how cool.
Cheers

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3

Trying something new... first blog from my phone.

If you want to know how soon my next exam is, ask me to tell you today's date.... the further off my response, the closer the exam. This morning i thought it was the 9th. Then I quickly corrected myself and stated that it's the 11th! proud of my amazing memory, even under times of high stress I was impressed by how quickly time has gone by in medical school.... That's when I was told that it in fact is the 16th.... as I write this, I'm on the T (subway) headed to school for another 12+ hour day of studying. Realizing that med school is probably the most time consuming and challenging thing I've ever done, I've decided to try something new. In order to keep up this blog, I'm going to attempt to write shorter and more frequent entries when I have "forced" down time, such as when I'm commuting to and from school, clinic or hospital, which means I'll probably be on the T while doing this. My idea is also an excuse to spend more time using my amazing new phone. It's all touch-screeny, light-weight, super fast and neato. :)

Time to finish up... Next stop, Tufts Medical Center.

You see some crazy stuff in the Emergency Department, and every now and then a good film on a Saturday night...

The T (subway car) smelled like hard alcohol... it was the last one of the night, which meant it was just before 1am, and filled with a lot of people leaving the bars and heading home to skip out on paying for a cab fare. I just got out of seeing the movie "Waiting for Superman," a documentary about our public school system, the impacts of teachers unions, politics, effective teaching, social issues including income levels and neighborhoods surrounding schools... and a lot more... and how this is all affecting the education of kids in our country...

It was very well done, told engaging and powerful stories, and sent many necessary messages, but it was also incredibly frustrating and sad to be reminded that education is not equal in the U.S. Not every student has access to a great education, and the repercussions of that affect all of society. I'm not going to get into the details, I want to go to bed and it's late, so instead I'll say you should definitely see this film.

This movie reminded me of why I'm here in Boston studying more often than not, and spending my weekends in the library... because like education, health care is not equally delivered in this country. Both systems are broken, and I've spent most of my adult life engaged in both of them. During the last couple days in the emergency department I've seen a toe nearly cut off by a chainsaw, metastatic lung cancer so far developed that an untrained eye like myself can immediately see it on an xray, infected hands that require multiple operations to clean out, broken bones, chest pain, heart attacks, head injuries, people without homes who drink so much they arrive unresponsive, and a lot more... This experience is amazing, thrilling to be a part of, and a privilege to learn from, but I wonder, when I become a physician, what will I be doing to change the system, to have a positive effect on the patients who don't have the resources to be treated and don't have the voice to advocate for themselves... Luckily I'm in my first year and have plenty of time to figure it all out (I need to put more worry into passing my exams before I try to save the world), but I'm still not sure how I'll do this.

In the mean time, I'll be mildly upset and frustrated that the Huskies are about to lose to Arizona... not cool.

Damn Brits...

I have a love-hate relationship with british soccer players. Today was the Tufts grad school team's first game, and we played Harvard's business school... I'd say 80 percent of their players were from the UK, something I appreciate - growing up with british soccer coaches, but I'm also not a big fan of playing against them. They tackle so tough... I walked away from the game with multiple knocks on my knees and ankles. Limeys know how to play hard, which I respect, I just hate being on the other end of the tackle. It felt good to play hard, to win and to compete on the soccer field again. Oddly enough it reminds me of why I'll never be a surgeon. What does that have to do with soccer? Good question, I'll tell you:

I've broken my hand twice. Both times playing soccer. Imagine doing seven grueling years of residency after 4 years of building up debt in medical school, breaking your hand and then losing your money makers... Not a good place to be. For that reason, I will never be a surgeon.

Now that I'm on a consistent soccer team, I'm starting to feel a little more settled in Boston. I wonder when it will become "home"... There are a few things, however, that I will never be happy about in this city...

1. Drivers/driving in Boston. The roads are a mess and regularly lack signs, but that's nothing compared to the sh*t-show caused by the way people drive. I watch accidents almost happen every day on my 3 block walk to the T station (subway). I've seen pedestrians almost get hit and watched a lot of drivers shout and flip each other off. Chill folk.

2. Boston is an awesome city, but it lacks landscape. If you've been to Seattle you understand. After moving I realize how beautiful that city is. FTW.

3. This isn't particular to boston, but the amount of damage done to my ears on a daily basis... The T is super loud. What amazes me are the people who listen to their ipods on the T... especially when its loud enough for me to hear what they are listening to... when I'm not even sitting next to them. I can't say it enough, invest in companies that make hearing aids now... you'll be able to retire quite well if you do that. Us kids is losing our hearing from all our ipods and our crazy rap music and technology!

The photo is from the Blue Scholars show I was at on Wednesday. They are an amazing hip-hop group from Seattle, and also went to UW. Fantastic.

One-year anniversary...

Exactly one year ago I met one of my current medical school classmates (who is now one of my closests friends) at my first interview, which happened to be here at Tufts. It's amazing to think of the chances, that we would end up here together and then become such close friends. I remember sitting at the table during lunch, nervous, eager, excited, stressed… basically full of emotion… talking to a current Tufts med student and listening to his experiences and take on life in medical school.

Today, exactly a year later, my friend and I are on the other side of the table…. one might say "the tide has turned," or "the winds have changed…" what I mean by that is we are back at that same table but this time eating lunch with interviewees who are asking about our experiences in medical school and our take on Tufts. A lot has changed in a year. I have an entirely new set of friends, live in a new environment, switched from the West to East coast, officially went into major debt, and have even seen patients who take my clinical advice as if I were a physician…. silly.

With our first exam behind us followed by an awesome night of dancing and partying, we are back in the mix. Starting at 8:30am the next day, we had a patient presentation on Lupus, followed by more dull science-heavy courses, and now preparing for the start of my shadowing experience in the emergency department at Tufts med. The amount of time to unplug and chill is essentially zero. During lunch with the interviewees, we were asked how med school compared to being an undergrad…. as much as I want to say its not a huge change… it really is. Imagine having a midterm in Genetics, Biochem, cell bio, and molecular bio on the same day (a 3.5 hour test), but instead of having plenty of time to study, you don't because so much is going on… clinic, other activities, soccer, seeing friends, sleep, cooking food, exercise… yep, it gets to the point where you actually factor in how much time you will spend cooking… I rarely cook anymore. It's sad.

On the note of time, I've run out of it and will have to write/blog some more stuff later. Off I go to the emergency department to get a taste of life in the fast lane!

Stick it.

The room was warm, but that wasn't why I had to wipe my forehead with my arm to keep the sweat from dripping on my patient's left arm where I was about to put a needle into her vein. In a moment like this you have to be confident, hide the fact they are the first non-medical student that you will be drawing blood from, and not doubt for a second that you will succeed... even though you can't see her vein... That's when the confidence kicks in. Relying on tactile senses, I felt for the vein, stuck the needle in, saw the flash of blood in the first chamber, and with a little bit more maneuvering (mostly putting the needle in a little deeper), we filled the test tube with dark red, minimally oxygenated, venous blood. After that, I became the first 1st-year to be certified to draw blood at the free clinic that Tufts students run. I stuck it.

You wouldn't think it, but the first couple times you put a needle into someone else is actually quite stressful. A few weeks ago, the first student to practice on me, one of my friends, was shaking so much that she had to pause and collect herself. We then talked through and reviewed the steps she would take, and after settling herself, she got back to drawing my blood. Now that I've drawn blood a handful of times, I can't stop touching my veins, or noticing when one of my friends has superficial veins. It's strange.

I wonder, what will it be like the first time I assist in a surgery, or even just place a chest tube, or drain fluid from someone... will I be feeling the same way I felt when I first drew blood? Does it get easier? Does it get more or less exciting?

As you can see, the clinic experiences are the ones that carry the most weight for most medical students. In class, we get wrapped up in details and stress about the next exam which happens to be a week from now. We will be assessed on our knowledge of a combination of the courses we are currently taking, biochem, genetics, cell bio... They'll give us 3.5 hours, and after that we'll be that much closer to four years from now when we become what the outside world considers "competent..." This material is simply not my thing, which makes it that much more frustrating that I've spent roughly 20 hours since friday studying this stuff (its monday right now). I'm looking forward to neuro and anatomy, which both come later in the year. Until then, I shall keep on studying (this was my study break).